Narcissist’s are people who have ego driven personalities and often look to be in complete control of their surroundings, including the people they surround themselves with. Often a narcissist’s constant “need for control” can cloud their self-awareness for their need for control.
Having said that, those who are aware of the narcists ego driven need for control, can easily manipulate the narcist by catering to their ego.
For example, a narcistic leader will often ignore the advice of their top experts who disagree, while taking the advice of novices who give praise.
By understanding this dynamic, any stereotypical narcist can easily be manipulated by those with the ability to give praise and by those with the ability to create an illusion that is sympathetic with the narcists deep fragile ego.
I personally have used this trick many times to get a narcists to go along with a good idea that they might normally disagree with.
I simply just tell the narcist publicly that “their Idea” was brilliant and will work great. The narcist will cease the moment to take credit for the good idea, ignoring the fact that it wasn’t theirs.
They feel good because they get the credit, I feel good because I just manipulated them into implementing an idea which I came up with.
But’s it’s not always quite that simple, so lets dive in to find out how you can use this knowledge to your benefit.
What Is A Narcissist ?
According to experts,
“narcissism is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.”
This “fragile ego” is the weak spot for narcissists. It leaves them susceptible to insecure praise by those looking to manipulate.
Here’s a separate article we wrote on exactly why the ego block self awareness.
But, not all narcissism is the same.
Experts agree that narcissism is a trait, yes, but it can also be a part of a larger personality disorder.
Not every narcissist has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), as narcissism is a spectrum.
People who are at the highest end of the spectrum are those that are classified with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But others with less extreme narcissistic traits, may fall on the lower end of the narcissistic spectrum.
Here’s Why A Narcissist Can Be Easily Manipulated.
As defined above,
Someone who understands this trait can ‘flip it around’ to “cozy up” to a narcissist in order to manipulate them.
Narcissist feed off of praise, compliments, and admiration. So much so, that insincere praise, complements, and admiration can easily go undetected, thus leaving the narcist vulnerable to manipulation.
When compared to someone with no ego vulnerabilities, excessive compliments would likely stand out as an obvious ploy to win over favoritism.
However, with a narcist, the excessive praise comes across as validation of a job well done, or an idea well thought of (even the job was not well done, or the ideas wasn’t theirs).
9 Signs To Easily Identify A Narcist
We’re not re-inventing the wheel here. Identifying a narcist is something that psychologists have been doing for decades. We just want to communicate a better understanding.
Here’s what the experts at Healthline have found out through years of research and experience.
- 1. They come across as charming AF… at first
- 2. They hog the conversation, talking about how great they are
Tip to look out for: What happens when you talk about yourself in front of them? Do they ask follow-up questions and express interest to learn more about you? Or do they make it about themselves?
- 3. They feed off your compliments
Tip to look out for: Those who are actually self-confident, won’t solely rely on you, or anyone else, to feel good about themselves.
- 4. They lack empathy
- 5. They don’t have any (or many) long-term friends
- 6. They pick on others constantly
- 7. They gaslight people
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse, and it’s a hallmark of narcissism. Narcissists may spew blatant lies, falsely accuse others, spin the truth, and ultimately distort reality.They do this to cause others to doubt themselves as a way to gain superiority. Narcissists thrive off of being worshipped, so they use manipulation tactics to get others to do just that
- 8. They think they’re right about everything… and never apologize
Fighting with a narcissist feels impossible.There is no debating or compromising with a narcissist, because they are always right. They won’t necessarily see a disagreement as a disagreement. They’ll just see it as them teaching you some truth.
- 9. When you leave them, they lash out
If you insist that you’re done with the relationship, they’ll make it their goal to hurt you for abandoning them.
“Their ego is so severely bruised that it causes them to feel rage and hatred for anyone who ‘wronged’ them. That’s because everything is everyone else’s fault. The result? They might bad-mouth you to save face.
Can A Narcissistic Personality Disorder Be Cured ?
“”Curing”” a personality disorder is not the same thing as curing a disease or illness.
If you have a viral infection, you’ll know that you’re sick, and if you take medicine, then you’ll most likely get better whether you want to or not. Pretty straight forward.
With a personality disorder like narcissism, or schizophrenia, many people don’t realize that they even have it. You can’t cure cancer if you don’t know you have it.
Acknowledging and “curing” narcissism will depend how extreme the narcissism is on the spectrum. Someone with slight narcissistic tendencies (most of us in the US) can change fairly easily once we’re made aware of the negative behavior.
But those higher up on the spectrum who are much closer to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) will be much more resistant to any form of personal change because that would mean admitting some form of personal fault which would be difficult for the fragile narcissist ego to accept.
Curing narcissism starts with the person acknowledging the need to change. Once acknowledged, understanding the root cause and dealing with it may take years of therapy. Even years of therapy can fall flat, with the narcissist eventually blaming the therapist. (speaking from experience)
Often it will take a “life changing”, “near death”, or “deep psychedelic” experience for a narcist to experience any meaningful self-realization that will lead to positive change.
Narcissists And Power !!
Narcissists love power like pirates like plundering treasure and drinking rum.
The need for power feeds directly into the narcissists’ need to boost their fragile ego. This is again another area of potential exposure for manipulation.
Not only do narcists want “more power” but they will do whatever it takes to hold onto the power that they already have. Including tearing down the whole eco-system around them.
By bragging, exaggerating, and lying about their greatness narcists promote themselves as being much bigger and better than what’s true in reality.
The y do this to overcompensate for deep hidden feelings of inferiority. Their hidden shame and insecurity drive their hypervigilance regarding their self-esteem, appearance, and position of power.
According to the experts at Psychology Today,
Tactics such as belittling, lying, bullying, attacking, criticizing, or even outright raging are all ‘go-to’ options for a narcist who feels that they’re not in control.
To gain back control a narcist will also put down others to elevate themselves or create a conflict that can lead to violence.
Narcissists sacrifice getting along in order to get ahead.
Those looking to manipulate the narcist will get a long in order to get ahead with-out the narcist ever even realizing it.
Narcists are fully functioning humans who hold normal jobs and live normal lives. Unfortunately, due to the lack of ability to self-reflect and see themselves objectively, narcists live inside a warper version of the same reality that the rest of us live in.
A narcissist might lose a foot race and instead of congratulating the winner for being faster, in the narcissists version of reality they only lost because of “”insert excuse here””…
This inability to see reality clearly leaves the narcist vulnerable to those around them who falsely feed into the narcists ego.
For example, “yeah don’t worry about that race, your shoe was untied. Anyways I have an idea I want you to fund”….
This vulnerability to “Ego Catering” makes the narcist very easy to manipulate by outside forces who are aware of this “psychological back door”.
In Russia and Israel, KGB and Mossad agents are specifically trained to look for and infiltrate these exact types of psychological vulnerabilities.
Having said that, narcists should not be in positions of power where manipulation is a concern.
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